expressing gratitude
Thanksgiving is a time for gathering with family, reflecting on blessings, and sharing a meal around the table. But let’s be honest: it’s also a time when tensions can rise. Whether it’s navigating differing opinions, managing unresolved conflicts, or simply bracing for your uncle’s unsolicited advice, Thanksgiving can feel less like a celebration and more like a test of patience. As George Burns humorously said, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city.” For some, this quote resonates deeply, capturing the mix of love and exasperation we often feel during family holidays.
Yet even with its challenges, Thanksgiving offers us an opportunity to shift our perspective. By focusing on gratitude, intentional listening, and thoughtful communication, we can transform our family gatherings into moments of connection and joy.
A Heart of Thanksgiving: The ACTS Model
In our disciple-making training, we teach a prayer tool called the ACTS model: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. Each aspect helps align our hearts with God, but the Thanksgiving portion is especially meaningful this time of year. It’s about more than giving thanks for material blessings; it’s about acknowledging God’s faithfulness and expressing gratitude for the people He has placed in our lives.
The Apostle Paul reminds us in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring the complexities of family life. Instead, a grateful heart allows us to see the good amidst the mess. Perhaps it’s the way a parent consistently shows up, a sibling’s knack for making everyone laugh, or a shared memory that still brings a smile. Focusing on these blessings helps us approach our families with softened hearts, ready to appreciate their presence in our lives.
Listening Well to Build Connection
Gratitude is most powerful when it’s expressed, and one of the best ways to show thankfulness is by listening well. Reflective listening—a practice we emphasize in discipleship—encourages us to listen to understand, not just to respond. Too often, we’re focused on preparing our next point rather than actually listening to the person speaking.
To practice reflective listening, give your full attention to the speaker and paraphrase what you hear. For example, if a family member shares about a recent challenge, you might say, “It sounds like that’s been really hard for you. How are you handling it now?” This simple act of listening communicates care and helps foster connection.
If conflict arises, kind but assertive communication can help keep the conversation respectful. Instead of saying, “You always interrupt me,” try saying instead, “I feel unheard when I’m interrupted, and I’d appreciate it if we could take turns speaking.” This approach encourages understanding and keeps tensions from escalating.
Consistently Practicing Gratitude
Thanksgiving isn’t just about avoiding conflict; it’s about building meaningful relationships. One of the simplest ways to do this is by affirming and appreciating the people you’re with. These moments of gratitude can happen at the dinner table, during food prep, or even while watching football together. Here are a few prompts to inspire heartfelt conversations:
What’s something about someone here that you’re especially thankful for?
What’s a memory involving someone here that brings you joy?
How has someone here supported or encouraged you recently?
These questions not only help us see the best in one another, but also create an atmosphere of warmth and connection.
This Thanksgiving, let’s choose to approach our families with gratitude—not just as a fleeting thought, but as a posture of the heart. By listening well, speaking kindly, and expressing thanks, we reflect the grace of Christ and create moments of true connection. In doing so, we may find that even the quirks and challenges of family life are part of what makes Thanksgiving so special.
